Confuse State..

Hmm...The day started happy with a msg from hmm..Its been a year since Sel's issue..Its more or less over though i do still hope at times..Hmm and i tok the entire day on msn like how Sel and i used to tok over msn the entire day..Everything seems so familar again. But to hmm..i was more careful abt myself, more control in my feelings, more tactful and careful with my words, more of every factor to protect myself. I dun wanna fall too fast..Its still a finding out each other stage.

Conversation was so similar to how Sel and I used to msn. The tone of concern and care was so familar. I'm not certain if all guys chat in the same manner. Am i naive or he's really nice? Well, in any case..I told myself again and again not to fall. Not to make the first move..not to show any sign of interest if they should be. I know in myself that if i have the chance to go with Sel, i'll still chose Sel at this pt of time.

Big ma ma visited me today. Had cramp in the late afternoon. Had mood swing..Felt that no one cared for me. Wanted to call Sel for comfort..but decided not to. Then of all times, hmm msn me with all the care i needed at that pt of time. Tried to cheer me up etc etc. Actually this morning he asked to meet. But i was suppose to go shopping with vet so turn down the appt. Was sad when Vet say cannot le cos she has to go send one of our JC fren off to korea..Then cramp..so in the end didn't meet him also..cos he say i must go home and rest..

Well..shall see how things progress yah..but i won't hurt myself again. I'll protect myself even more now. Once is enough to make me lose confidence in falling in love. I dun want to lose the little confidence i have now completely.

Crampy..hate that lingering feeling of pain..i'm going to sleep already. =)