How Come I Dun Feel Good?

Hmm..something is realli very wrong with me. Wat makes up my mood everyday? Maybe a third goes to him, a third goes to my work and the last third goes to myself. But the third belonging to me doesn't seem to be good. I told myself to be happier today. Maybe just alittle less grouchy..but still..i dun feel good.

Maybe the day didn't start of well..i tried to sound happy. I tried to take as nothing had happen. But all these are just lies to myself..just to make me happier. Lots of qns in my head but i've got no courage to talk abt it. maybe just as well this way. Meeting too many times a week? I guess so..i seem more concern abt him then how he is towards me.

Who doesn't want the other half to care? Am i realli at the expense of him? Maybe i should be a little firmer to myself and to him. Not to sway at decisions. Lots of maybes..Its easier said then done..

Health not getting any better, seems to be gastric. The tightness in the chest doesn't seems to go away. Starting to cough already..This month doesn't seem to be a very good month for me..Its only the beginning and there are already so much hiccups..