If time can be turn back...

If time can be turn back what issit that i will chose not to repeat again? I guess when it comes to education wise..there's not much regret..But prob the only thing which i might wanna change is not to enter NUS but a foreign university in a foreign land and not to study computing but to study business..

But wat about frens? I think if time can be turn back, i will make an attempt to keep in contact with the gals in my class in sec sch. In JC, i when i tell my crush that i like him and not just keep quiet. I will do something more daring then just letting him know i like him. Actions are usually much louder then words. He told me couple of years back that if i was bolder.. If time can be turn back to the duration after JC and before uni days..i will go out with Lar for dinner..to give him a chance and not to deny myself of the chance..

If time can be turn back again..i'll wanna be a more independent gal..to join the orientation camp which the sch organises..to mix around to make new frens..If time can turn back again..i'll chose to do projects with more guys..rather then restriciting myself to the same old gals and in the end losing them in quarrels..If time can be turn back again..i'll go for the christmas mass with Fr..It will all be so diff already..

If time can be turn back..i will chose not to fall in love. I will chose not to go through all this shit i'm in now..i'll chose not to try out when i know things might not work out..i'll chose to go with someone who loves me more then i love him..i'll chose to go when things to dun turn out right.

I life just went in circle the moment i stepped out of university into the working world. Its so diff..If time can be turn back..i'll work harder and do my hons..and stay in sch for another year. If time can be turn back minutes hours days months...i will not hurt dan..If time can be turn back..i will make the firmest decisions and not ponder over the decisions.

Life is so bleak right now..everything seems to go wrong..everything seems to go down stream..Work..relationship..frens..family...everything just seems to go wrong...I'm a sad person right now...

`Dreadful

The story continues. I'm sorry folks for venting my anger on you ppl last night. Prob its the time of the month again? I dun know..can't bother to know. Anyway yah..I know its wrong of me to take u ppl out verbally cos of my bad mood.

I've never curse and swear so much in my entire life. No one have ever tested my tolerance and attitude level to this extend. I will say one thing. I think my mind is protecting myself. To automatically change into the attitude mood when toking to him. Its so scarry cos i didn't realise i do have the ability to do such a thing. And the next moment i can happily chat with my beloved neighbours. So ironic isn't it.

Its so dreadful to wake up in the morning realising that i have to come to office to see a F up face attitude person. Worst of all..to communicate with this F up face attitude person. I dun label my frens or colleagues..but he just won himself that label..Congrats to his award! I just can't help it anymore.

I'll endure Endure ENDURE...Why? Lets just say half of me wants to get out of this shit hell. But the other side of me can't do it cos there are ppl in the office whom i do really respect and i dun want to create a mess and disappoint them. These ppl are really very nice and good ppl who lead me to where i am right now. Know them since my uni days when i was just an intern. They gave me the chance and opportunity..So i'm really grateful to them. So right now..just have to 忍..swallow everything that comes my way..

`Grumbles

Feeling piss and angry right now..so decided to come in to blog a while to let out the steam. Its apparently very unsightly to see the person whom i'm suppose to take orders from playing game when we are already behind dateline. I have lose complete respect to this person. Such a boastful, unhelpful, attitude person. So wat if one has 6 years of working experience? Issit so wrong and disgraceful to lower oneself to do coding or to help with the young and inexperience? apparently that's the impression and view i get from his working attitude. To rise in power and to look down on the unworthy. From the start of the project he clearly stated that he won't do any coding..Then he started to be so engross in playing the role of the PM without realising his team began to lose faith and trust in him. Well..it come to this stage and point where i dun wanna approach him be it for techinical issues or functional issues..To see his attitude and spoil my day..Asshole i can say he is one..

Personal decision had been made..this is the last and final project i'm going to do with him..Its time to flip the papers again and to surf for new job. Its not like i'm sick and tired working as a life of a programmer..but i'm sick and tired working with the bloody asshole. To see his FUCK UP attitude..I can happily and willing work late if i'm happy with my PM and i respect my PM...and PM will never be successful without the support of his team mates..sad to say...i stand on the opposite of the river. One more time and i really will tok to the other higer rank manager about it..Prob i should start to request for the following project to work with other PM.

That;s it before i can complete this blog..my tolerance level has exceeded. FUCK UP! I HATE THIS! its only a file and make a BIG HOO HAA...source control...its only a file which the lines can be easily added in the final end..want everything under control..ha ha...GO BLOODY HELL CONTROL HIS ATTITUDE! lets just say i will show my attitude to whoever deserves it.. Dun like it..give me a bad review lor..i dun need his nice words in the feed back.. Cos i dun give a damm...cos i believe there are better ppl and jobs out there then see this FUCK UP person in the office.

My First Time

Hee..i lost my virginity yesterday. Hee hee...wat are u ppl thinking?!!! I lost the V of my face yesterday..First time in my entire 23 years of life..someone touch my face..harass my face..message my face..applied layers on my face..Who else? but the beautician ~ Phelane.

Her shop is located at Adelphi near city hall area. Went there after work..Was kind confuse when i reached there. Didn't know wat the procedure at all..She showed me to the room. Left me we a top (similar to a tube dress) then told me to take out my top and put that on..after that lay on the bed?! okie..so i did as instructed..Not long later..she came back and started to cleanse my skin to remove my make up..then she commented that i got very bad skin..lots of dead cells..the skin looked lifeless! and blah blah blah...Jargons...lots of them...half the time i went HUH?! then she went to simple english..not too bad...

She explained to me wat she was going to do. Each time she applied something..she told me the usage..the worst application was the one which she applied some medication on m face..to kill infection..cos my face is very badly infested by the pimples..Since i went with Sel..she told me that he has a better skin condition..partly because he's a guy and guys usually have thicker SKIN! wat i will call..THICK SKIN! wahahaha...so she said that he will feel less painful throughout the treatment and also cos he's a guy..his facial skin had become very immune to the sun as compared to mine =( sad case...

Total treatment time was about 1hour 30 mins..not too bad i guess..but its and expensive session..but well..no choice..better start the investment early..

The Long Weekend.

The long weekend was not too bad. Did lots of sports..Early saturday morning, i resumed my tennis lessons. Been a long time since i went for lessons..not too bad..just that as usual..i got stamina problem. But partner for the lesson is not AL anymore..she got no time!!! so Sel learned together with me..not a bad partner..fast learner i will say he is..prob he's a guy...

After tennis..i went to swim..no sun..so didn't realli turn brown..went for choir after that. Choir was not too bad. Met a lianster after my choir prac. Of course this lianster like my ex. Well..he's always chased by gals...a guy with no gal lack..watever the case...its not my problem...he's just my fren now..

I start to get to know Dan alittle more..more nightly chats..He's alittle too powerful for me..Its the first time i find myself feeling hard and diffult to maintain a proper decent conversation with him. We tok through the night into the early morning..moving from crusted food stuff to history of singapore to the open minded generation in SG. To find myself in a debate on the issue of casino with him at almost 4 am.

Dan is a little too much for me..Sel is a little too little in comparison..I feel myself drawn closer to Sel as compared to Dan. We share more similar interest. But too bad..we are just not fated. Sometimes remaining as frens is a wiser choice..but i know its hard for me to not cross the line. I can see him leaving this frenship soon..very soon...anticipation for the time to come can make me very depress..to see a fine companion doing all the sunny crazy activities leave for another. I guess that's life..frens come and go.. no one stay forever. He's not mine..he can chose to go.

Dan next person in my life? I guess prob not..he's too much for me to handle. We tok about dreams..aspirations throughout the weekend..i concluded he's not my type. Why? simply because he will be crossing the line to gain fame..to be in the lime light. The moment he chose to reject the job offer as a prison physchologist. I knew where he's heading for. I cannot deny the fact that he's good.

Sunday..I started to pick up blading..Sel came over to coach me..He said i'm a fast learner..I fell on my butt for the first time..it hurts like shit...i learnt my lessson..to fall front! It isn't as difficult as i thought...all one need is just to be bold..fall a couple of times and the body will just adapt..Its simple...a no brainer thing after a while..ha ha...

That evening..we met al for dinner..waneted to bring her to try Charlie's corner..when we reached there CVH was super duper packed! couldn't find parking lots..in the end parked very far away..walked to the restaurant..and we found out that its CLOSED. In the end..we went to the airport to have dinner with Gene and Win ..Sel's fren and bro..So sian...

Monday morning..wake up to have mac breakfast n made way to Al's place for a game of tennis..not too bad...Went back home feeling very very tired...return Dan's call..but he's out..its good..better then cooping himself at home...A house man i will say he is..hee hee..

The Meeting.

Wooo...its realli been a long time since i last blog..nothing much interesting in my life right now. Just busy with work. Just dun like it when my PM is back in office..WAIT!..not that i slack when he's not in. I'm just uncomfortable with his presence. For some weird reason..i just dun like to see him around..

Kinda rude to him when he asked me somethings..for goodness sake! there's like 3 ppl in the group..its not like written in the timeline that i'm suppose to do that part..i already dun have the time..so i just went NO TIME! Morning meeting..i dread having meeting with him. SO POINTLESS..i just went..YES..i'm way way behind dateline..spend almost the entire week learning this and that..of course the rest progress faster cos when they started coding..they just copied wat i did..and change to suit..the bone is already there...they just have to paint the bone abit to give it colour and taste! WTF! give me that kind of u damm slow face lor...*piss*

Basically..i need to vent my anger here..I DUN LIKE WORKING WITH HIM...its either i'm the one with attitude problem..or he's the one with attitude problem..Seriously i dunno why i'm so "LUCKY" to have a chance to work with him. I super dread this project..its not that the project is not interesting or problematic. But its the person who head the project which makes me dislike it so much.

Seriously i think i'm damm mean to say this. But..i think he dun have the qualities to become a PM. I think no PM works the way he work. Hopefully this will be the last project i'm going to work with him...I think i have a serious communication problem with him as well. Now i understand why ppl chose to resign when they can't seem to work with the higher management. Wise choice good choice. Why suffer the agnoy and the frustration. Let's just say if i'm a damm rich gal with attitude right now..i think will just take the stack of papers and throw it infront of him..and say "I dun give a damm if we are behind dateline..i did it on purpose..why? cos i dun like working with u...u have a problem with that? " then i just leave. Shiok right!

But i will be very sad lor..cos i like the rest of the ppl in the office..i like working in the company..but i just dun like working with him...why i can't just work with other PM...why him?!??!HOW HOW HOW?! sian!!!

Thinking.

Seems like i have been really thinking..thinking alot. Its nice going out with him. To have dinner with him..Its more comfortable this way. At least i see that he's happy and i dun expect so much cos at least i know we are no longer together. Frens dun hold hands..dun kiss...so at least when all this are not given ...i dun feel so bad cos i know its no longer right to do all this.

But there is always this fear in me that he will leave one day before i do. Cos afterall he's more capable of finding gals then me finding guys..i dun even bother to find guys..thats the problem..The fear which i dunno i should define it as cos i still hope and still love or i'm scared that the moment he finds someone else..we won't be doing the sports which we engage in anymore. I'm trying rather hard right to change us back to frens..just frens..or buddy i will say without the GF/BF type of love. I think its possible..but it will surely takes time.

But i'm scared..cos i dunno how long i will take plus now we are no longer together as a couple..its only right that he can go out to date other gals and to go out to make more frens. I'm just scared that the time will come faster then expected. I've been through it once before with him...Thus, i will say i'm more wary right now then previously. I try as much not to think about it and to enjoy myself. But no matter wat..the fear will always come back to haunt me in some way or another.

I guess its just human to protect oneself from hurt. Especially i've been through once and i'm even more scared to go through the entire process again. How nice if there is such a thing as to be happy always..and no risk. How nice if i can just enjoy the moments..and yet not fear..

Crying the night through.

I thought i was fine..i thought by leaving my hp on my table away from my bed i will be fine. Yet..i keep anticipating for a call or a sms. I waited and waited. I wasn't in deep sleep..The moment i closed my eyes..i will just realised that "Its Over". I've got to let go. But its so difficult.

I cried throughout the night..tears just streamed down..i couldn't control. I went out of my room to the living room. I sat on the sofa hugging my bloster and crying. I got a message from him like almost 4 am in the morning telling me he's home already and going to sleep. I dun understand why he isn't hurt. I dun understand why he dun feel the pain. Issit because he dun at all feel for me? i guess so..He told me that he's sentimental. But he never seem to remember things that we did. Here i was crying and yet he was outside happily enjoying himself. I can't blame and i can't complain. My life picture is wat i paint by myself.

Aftermath

Choir never seem so long before. It was dreadful..I kept on thinking wats he's doing right now. Is he doing fine right now. Is he still angry over the incident of rushing to AMK to meet his colleague. Everything of him ran through my head. I couldn't concentrate. I held the HP near to me..checking my hp to see if there are any messages from him. Yet its always disappointment. I couldn't take it anymore and just drop him a message.

Choir ended..i was too afraid to check my phone. I left my phone throughout in my bag. I hope to see a message of care. But i know its impossible. It will never come true again. There will be no more love and no more care from him every again. I kept telling myself its over..its not the end of the world..there's much better things out there for me to do. I kept rehearsing the line.."He doesn't love u.." i kept reminding myself..since i'm not oblige to meet him..he's also not oblige to sms me or call me. Frens. This is the stage which i'm trying to bring myself to. Just pure frens and no more then that..

The moment i heard his voice over the phone. The moment i realised that he won't be home so early..the moment i realised that NO..there won't be anymore phone calls at night from him...my tears just rolled. I couldn't control. The pain was piercing right through me..i was expecting words of concern..But there was none and there will be none..Reality is alwasy so difficult to face. I can chose to live in the dream..in the disillusion..yet i chose to inflict pain on my own flesh. The pain is too real to bear. Yet i know this pain is good.

Singapore is way too small to contain. Everywhere i go..i see the both of us walking along..eating...having coffee..its all way to familiar. Memories will just flood..flood me... I realli hope that i can be strong..to make that move to realli get on with life. I know its all in the mind..the mind power..I realli hope i'll be able to face him as a Fren and no more feelings for him someday.

3 Months 1 Day.

12 May. I ended my first relationship. Devastated. I thought it would be easier..but it came out harder then i had expected. I thought i was strong. But i wasn't. My tears rolled. The river flows..the heart bleeds..yet there is no turning back. He decides to let me go.

Suntec & City hall.. i will always remember.. Our love nest was also the place that we broke up.. I held on to his hands in hope..but despair..The decision wasn't a rash decision. I think we both had time to think about things. I lived in self denial and lie long enough. Its time to wake up. Things no longer the same. I no longer felt the care. Everything seemed to have changed. I am glad yet i had to swallow all the heart aches.

We sat down..we tok. We questioned. He tried and i believed he tried. Cos i felt the love and care once. I treasured it..i searched for it but i couldn't find it again. Somethings once gone will never come true again. I realli realli did enjoy all the times we spend together. We laughed..we quarrelled..we threw temper at each other..the hugs..the kisses..i will always remember. I will keep the flower in care..the elmo in care..the memories of my bday forever..and 11 Feb..the day when we became a couple..

We came back to my place for prata. I didn't had the mood to eat. Everything seems just like last year once again. The last time when he left..we had prata too..we took the long way home..The moment i walked on the pavement..my tears just rolled..He held my bag and hold my hand...i stood there crying..as i look up..i remember the times when we crossed the canal..holding hands..teasing each other..as we walked through the play ground...the image of us vividly appeared..we were star gazing (orion) and i was feeding him with tau hui..we bought the bean curd from the peace center area the last time and wanted to walk back. But we were too tired so we took a bus home..bus number 64.. As we walked through the fitness area...i remember he took off his shoes to walk on the pebbles and it was realli hurting.. All these will always be kept in me..

Why do gals alway hold on to something more then guys. I held on to that tiny hope. But the hope was torn apart. I held on to the memories..but the memories were shattered by reality. I yearn to keep him as a fren. But i do hope that i can do it. I promise to try to keep him as a fren and not cease total contact. He's a real fine companion. Someone whom i can realli do activities with. Someone whom i can confine in. But i can't change him to love me. Since i have already chosen to face reality. I will have to face it bravely.

I know u will be reading this blog entry..this paragraph is dedicated to u. Thanks for all that u have done. I realli enjoyed myself all this time until things didn't turn out right. I've learnt alot from u. You are my first and i realli didn't know alot of things about r/s. I didn't know wat to expect..i didn't know wat i should do. U taught me alot about a r/s. You are indeed a fine companion. I promise u all the things u said to me about the next guy which comes along. I give u my word. I'll try as hard as i can to keep u as a very very good guy fren. I hope that one day we will be able to do all the activites which we used to do but as good frens again. I will be strong and live strongly. Think of me when u have the time.

My tuition gal.

Today's my last tuition. Till then again..hee hee...This gal.. i've taught her since she is in Primary 6 and now she's already in Sec 3. I still remembered then how i made her cry. I made her went through the oral passage over and over again. Made her do different picture conversation over and over again till i got the fluency which i wanted. Its the first time i made my student cry. Hee hee..How mean of me yeah? But its good for her...hee hee..

Been teaching her maths all the while. Since primary 6 when they start to learn ratio and proportion till today in sec 3..she's still facing the same old problem..Am i a lousy teacher?! i will jolly well say NO! i'm a good maths teacher..wahahaha..She do know the meaning of ratio and proportion. But somehow...when the variable name changes..she will get extremely lost.

Today..there was this question which deals with exchange rates..so the qns goes like this..X Marks = 1140 Rupee. And she's required to find 10 Marks will cost how much rupee..she couldn't do it...So i changed the question to X Apples = $1140. How much does 10 apple cost. And she can jolly well tell me the ans! i seriously dun see wats the problem..so in the end...We had lots of apples today cos all the ratio questions were all converted to APPLES! How amazing apples can do the job.

Char message saying to go HK end of june!! contemplating leh..realli feel like going on a short trip...i need to travel!! the bug is in me again!! How nice if the company can send me overseas to work..cool baby! Holiday and working shuold be a totally diff experience..Hopefully got a chance to get this experience in my life time!! or maybe i should just apply for some job like waitress?!! in the states?! wahaaha..

Expections? Expecting?

The day ended not too bad yesterday. At least i got wat my aim was up. Was suppose to go to the gym this morning but decided to give it a miss cos i was feeling tired.

For the past few mornings i was expecting some things. But it never came true. Cos the thing never did manifest. I start to miss more and more. I'm scared that i'll miss too much till a stage that i get strange and weird again. I tried telling myself that its normal and i shouldn't be over possssive and over demanding. But sometimes i just needed some.

I was toking to lynnnie yesterday afternoon..and she said that i lack self confidence. How true it is. Cos of somethings that i discover another side of myself..a side which is so possesive..a side which is so scarry...a side which i never know i had it in me..Lynnie said that i'm over demanding. She tried puttin sense into my head..she tried knocking nonsense out of me but some wat it didn't realli work.

I sense things are changing and it seems to me that its changing for the worst. Things are no longer the same.. I tried hard..but none seems easy.. Lets just say i'm scared. Another part of me had taken over. Its a part of me too scarry to even recongnise.

Bluezzz...

Monday is always associated with blues. So wat about monday blues? Its the start of work again. Dreadful i will say..Never seem to look forward to monday or i should say the working week.

My weekend was beautifully painted. Lots of colours and lots of life. Yet..monday just took everything away. I could sense myself in that dread. That is wat i guess ppl call BLUEZ.. Office was totally lifeless.. So quiet! i can't take it..I dunno issit just me or the rest as well..but to me i sense that my working moral has been dropping and dropping..I have no idea why.

I still remembered how busy i was in the other project..to stay till almost 12 mn a couple of times. But yet..the enegery level was so high. I never found it a chore. But today in this project..Everything seems to be so dreadful. When everything was not in place..i was feeling piss..down..angry..upset..anything with the negativity will well describe me. I told myself that once things are on track everything will be fine. Now that things are on track...i no longer seem to have the motivation and the drive.

Went for tuition in the evening after work. This week is the last week finally. Been very taxing on me. She's a fine student but yet i guess students will always have that student mentality. I was once in her shoes.. So i know it perfectly well. Giving tuition is realli a tough job unless u got a angel student..i use to have a super brilliant student when i was in uni. just go to her place sit there see her do her HW...she will only ask if she has a problem. But half the time she won;t have a problem cos she's too brilliant. Rates were much much better as compared to my current student. Her mum even gave bonus to me after her Os. cool yeah!

Anyway..i just realised that my physics realli sucks! cannot believe it..i can't solve sec 3 physics questions! Actually i will say i'm kinda a bad tuition teacher..keep on doing maths with her cos maths my forte! A maths especially! ha ha...

Thiking if i should go for a hols to HK in june! Value air having a promotion of buy one get one..sounds cool yah!! Gracie will be going with 3 of her other frens and she has extend her invitation to me. Hmm..thinking if i should go anot.. But realli i do need a short get away! work realli getting too much on my nerves..

Adaptation.

Humans are easily adaptable. When i first came across this sentence, i didn't really spend time pondering about it. Incidents made me start to think about the truth in that sentence.

I will say time is always needed to allow one to adapt. But is there a chance to no matter how much time and effort is applied but yet one still can't adapt. Yet..to some, time will always be the crucial factor. Once given sufficient time, one will be able to adapt. So actually how much time is needed?

Time ticks by seconds after seconds..minutes after minutes..hours after hours...days after day...year after year..Issit worth it to spend so much time trying to adapt to a particular thing? Or should one just give up and move on with something else rather then trying to adapt. So when one decides on this path..will that mean that one has no determination..no courage?

So since time is always the factor to adaptation..So how much time is exactly suffient to one? Who will determine the time? The person or his/her counterparts? It all started cos a incident that made me start to think about the word adaptation and makes me think about the things which i made myself adaptable to and if these adaptations which i had made were wise choices.

Choir didn't end on a high note. I saw black faces..Sarcastic faces..Apparently people won't happy about certain decisions which had been made. People tried to adapt to the change..but yet couldn't accept the change. So the question was if one couldn't accept the change and wasn't comfortable with the change..so why keep it till now when concert is just round the corner. Uncomfortable. Thats the wat they said. Insecurity. These words sounded so familar. I said these words before in other situations. So..is there a chance that no matter how hard one tries..one still is unable to adapt to it. So wat happens to the person?

I guess there's alot of things to adapt in life. But i've never found it so hard to adapt till now. Adapting to a differnt life style. Adapting to working life. Adapting to all the changes. Trying to accept certain things. All i can say..its tough its difficult. Its always beatiful when u dun think about it. But some wat its not possible to keep running away.

For some weird reason...

For some weird reasons, my body clock kinda mess up. I slept at 12 plus last night waiting for a call. But apparently the call didn't came. So with my phone in my hands i fell asleep.

For some weird reasons, my eyes decided that the sky grew bright already. So i woke up. When i checked the time..its only 4 am. Its 1 hour even before my alarm clock ring. I sat up wide awake on my bed thinking that my HP time is cranky cos for some weird reason i think the sky looks bright.

For some weird reason when my alarm rang at 5 am, i set it to 7 instead of 6 am. For some weird reason i automatically dose off and woke up at 6 without help. For some weird reason..i step out of my room thinking its 8 am...I brushed my teeth..put on my lens and for some weird reason i asked my bro. How come u are still at home? no paper today meh? then only i realised its not 8 am..its 6 am...wahahah...

Then my mum said..Ur coffee on the table already..for some weird reason my mother anticipated that i'll go to the gym this morning. For some weird reason i seemed to worked out much faster or could it be the time decides to pass slower. For some weird reason i completed everything that i needed to do much earlier. For some weird reason i was upset..

So here i am for some werid reason typing wierd things...going to work work work now...

Reflection?

Maybe its time to do some reflection on myself. I'm starting to feel that i no longer understand myself. I no longer know wat i want in life. I lost the fighting power. I lost the determination.

I was very determined to lose weight and to be healthier when i joing planet fitness. I did a review today with the personal trainer and apparently, my hard work kinda went down the drain. 3 odd months and i didn't realli show much improvements. Hiahz..i think is time to push myself more!

I'm on the verge of giving up this job. Let's just say its not as ideal as i think it is. I used to like it but right now its realli pissing me off. Maybe its just that since the day i came back to office. I have been doing things which i know nuts and i've been trying and trying till a point which i'm kinda feeling piss already..

Tennis. I finally purchased the racquet. Hopefully i'll able to get it soon and start playing again before my skills gets rusty. The evening starting off well. But it didn't end in a high note though i bought my racquet. Well, somethings are meant this way. Its so ironic how moods can change in mins or should i say sec. Then next moment i find myself yelling. Not like i did it on purpose. Anyway, i've not been in perfect mood for sometime already. Maybe i'm just tired and i need a break from alot of things.

Amazing race right now showing london..and I MISS LONDON!

The melting me.

Soon there won't be fang fang around. Fang fang going to become a pool of Fang oil! Yucky! isn't it? I cannot take it anymore..the temperature everywhere is increasing!!! yet the aircon cannot go any lower. Its not a balance.

I seriously think the office should either install more aircon or service the aircon or do something!! the weather is killing and the stupid aircon isn't strong at all and it gets realli stuffy over at my area..I kinda wasted my entire morning cos i can't do any work. I'll get extremly grouchy and my brain will just refuse to work when i got to think or analyse. It just automatically shuts down itself. I dun even need to power off..it will just go into enegry saving mood.

Went to the gym in the afternoon for Body Attack. The class only got 5 of us in all..as compared to the previous one which i went on monday evening..this class energy level is apparently much lower or maybe i'm more use to it already..

Time to continue doing my work already. That's provided the aircon is strong enough to keep my attention span. Else i'll shut off again. Can say i'm unproductive but u can't blame me for that..or even better let me work at home with my strong aircon! The company can't even provide a condusive working environment that is to make the place feel cooler!!! how to work like that! SUCKS!

Away from home.

Long weekend. Its ending soon. Here i am not at my own laptop. Not in my own room. Not going to sleep on my own bed tonight and hopefully will be able to get a better sleep tonight after all the sleepless nights.

Didn't realli exercise much over the long weekend. Went swimming under the super hot sun on saturday. Got myself semi burn. Why semi burn? cos my right arm got burnt and my left arm seems nothing wrong..Dun ask me how i swam..prob i swam with one arm..ha ha...Just now wanted to go to the gym for a good work out. But we soon discovered that PF is closed after we made our way to great world. So we returned to her place and faithfully used her condo gym. Not as nice i guess..i'm not exactly use to the equipment. Anyway..just did cardio for 30 mins..but dun feel very shiok. Looking forward to the body attack class tomorrow afternoon..

My big mama didn't come to visit me...been having lower abdominal pain. Dunno wats wrong..sian...anyway alot of things happended over the long week end. I will say its a super torture in the mental mind. I couldn't get enough sleep. My human alarm woke me up at 7 am almost everyday. I found myself holding on to my HP thinking that i will be getting a call from someone. I found myself sitting up in the middle of the night thinking why big ma ma isn't here yet. I found myself fighting with my blanket and the aircon in the middle of the night. I kick and i cover again. I found myself waking up at 3 am and i couldn't get back to sleep. When online to see who's around. But apparently the only person whom i thought i could tok to refuse to entertain me cos she needed to complete her assigment.

Okie. Today i spend awfully. I was super late and had to take a cab down to Woodlands to meet heh to go bukit panjang. I serioulsy think no one should be staying in the area cos its FREAKING far. Dan's place got 2 cats. Wow...the 2 cats kinda adding dirt to the floor. Maybe the cats shold use some fur control shampoo..its droping too much fur..or should it be hair?! Anyway, I kinda like Dan's place. Its very spacious. I think maybe cos they knock down all the walls and also the way the furnitures are placed. Its super neat..hee hee...

Okie..enough of blogginf..my eyes seems to be closing already...then again..i've got to wait for the owner to give the "Can Sleep already" sign...hee hee