Missing.

I'm still in that mood after so many days..Its so scarry..i can't get myself out of it. I know is super duper unhealthy to be in this state. But i just cannot help it. I just miss him so so much!! it got to be one of the attacks!!! mood swing? i dunno...

I seriously dun understand myself anymore. I dun understand how come i got such feelings of missing. One side of me know he's not worth..yet the other side i'm still missing..I dun know wat the hell i'm into. I just sink right into the pit and i'm unable to climb up...I walked in the dark cicle for days already without seeing light..yet i more darkness to come..

I really dunno how to get out of the turmoil..its so painful..I tried to tell myself to be happy..enjoy single life..he's not worth at all..but yet i yearn so much. Maybe its just the companionship that i'm yearning for and nothing more then that. But for some reasons..i priorites him so high as still...i hate the feeling. I hate wat i am today..I'm trying very very hard to pick up all the shattered pieces and move on...yet for some reasons..i turned back to look..i cannot control..and i cannot help it.