When the place dun exists.

When u discover that the place dun exists in your life dictionary. Will you chose to create the place? or will u chose not to? I have been struggling for the past few weeks but i dunno wat should be conclusion be.

I've been trying to create that particular place for the particular person. But yet it proves to be so difficult. Sometimes i really wonder if i really need to make the effort to create the space. I pondered over this question for countless days and nights. Much tears had fallen..the broken lines are slowly turning to crack marks.. I wonder how long more i can hold on.

The little glimpse of hope is diminishing fast. However, it can't seem to be completely destroyed for i'm still trying to create that place. I'm rather certain that he deserves the place till he proves me wrong. I hope this decision is a wise one. Close frens might think otherwise. But i hope he dun prove me wrong for i'll be disappointed and sad.

I'll try and i think i'm doing fine creating the place right now. Ma ma has been spending a lot of time with me during this period of time. I really appreciate it. Though she never know what happened but she's always there for me when i needed her. I'm glad that work is getting busier..so at least i have less time to think about the past. Yes. I think i'm still somewat living in self pity. I know its bad..and i'm trying hard to get out.

Its really tough to create the place. I never did believe that a guy and a gal can be very good frens. Half the time, the line is hard to define. I'm attempting to create this place right now. If i do fail..at least i tried.

Lastly..I MISS LYNNIE SO SO MUCH! She came back last year to pull me out and yes..she said she will be back to pull me out!! but the sad part is..i'm going to be in SINGAPORE!