When u know its over yet u held on.

Its kind of weird i will say. Or should it be irrational thinking. Seriously, my first time in love made me become such a weakling. I tried to stand up over and over again. Yet i failed and i failed. I adpoted another way to handle it. I thought it was pretty much effective till...

Yes. We have been keeping in contact and we have been going out maybe just a little lesser then previously. Though i let go much of it, i'm still holding on to another part. I pin almost nothing right now but see..its almost, and its not completely. Are humans all so selfish? to just take and not return? I gave more then wat i should i this friendship of ours. Much much more then wat i will give for a good friend. I know many will say its stupid.

What issit that i really seek in him? What issit that makes him so attractive to me? Comparing him with many other guys i know out there, he's just another non established person. So why? I asked myself alot alot of times. I gathered that i didn't wanna let go of him cos i didn't wanna go through the entire process of knowing someone to the extend and to accomodate all the difference and dislikes about the person. It takes alot..alot of time and effort. I worked my way to this stage and i'm really comfortable with him.

I'm much happier then before when we were an item. But some how i'm still stuck in between. Yes, i've been going out with new ppl, new frens. But the thought of knowing a new person all over again. Its tiring. It came to a point that i told myself..if he's yours, it will be eventually. If he's not meant to be, no matter how hard i try to keep him, he will still go. Holding on lesser by lesser each day. I dun know when will i totally let go. Maybe when someone really hits me real hard .. till then..