When the world came tumbling down

The weekend started off well till last night somethings happened. My world came tumbling down. I was so badly affected. I cried once again.

The day started of with breakfast then followed by facial. Parkmall with tabks. I'm amused by it. Made our way to ECP to blade. Went all the way down to the sailing center, sat at the break waters and had chips. Night fallen. The roads started to turn dark. I got scared. He was there with me all the while.

We planned for new activities, new events..everything came crashing down when we started toking the night on the phone. I regretted big time everytime i said something. He was happy and i want him to be happy till i said somethings which changed everything that comes along. I was devasted the entire night. I thought back at all the things which we had done. Tears just streamed. As frens, we went through so much so much. I hate to lose him as a fren. Really hate it. Why such things have to happen to me? why?

Yes. I'm easily affected by him. Very easily affected cos i care. I care so much for this fren though i know i will lose him eventually. But yet, the smile on his face, the laughter of his brightens up my day. I dun want things to change. I really really dun want things to change. Yet everytime cos of wat i said, things change and i'm not able to accept the change. I drown in misery.

Yes. I'm afraid. So afraid that we won't be doing things together anymore. I cannot accept. I dunno how long he will take and dun know if he will ever managed to see light once again. I hate the feeling. Really hate. I regretted saying those things to him. But i said it cos i cared. The risks involoved is way to much.. though i know he really really hopes to own it.

All i hope is that he dun lie to me. If he really wanna get it, i will accept the fact and pray for his safety. To gain knowldge about the thing and help him with the choice. I really hate to see both worlds come tumbling down.