For i'm so numb with red and white.

Been almost 3 months in this red and white place. Well, i had great aspirations and hopes when i first step in here. But today, once again, i dread to come to work. I dislike the culture here. I've portrayed myself to be irresponsible with all my slip shot work. Thats not me i know. But they left me with no choice. I dread the work i'm doing. Though work is some what different from my previous coy. But still, thats not what i want to do forever. The word IT don't seem to fit in my life description anymore. And yes, maybe i should do something about it.

Sales, i know i'm not in for it. But the banking world seems so so so much more interesting then IT. Maybe cos i'm not in it yet thus i do not know the difficulties which i will face and if i will like the job. But i thought, hmm...maybe i can give it a try cos its no sooner that i will leave this job. The temptation is so strong to just throw that letter once again.

I need a life. I don't want the job to rules over my life. I don't want to spend my weekends back in this office. I want to spend time with my little boy and my sofa set. I want to go shopping. I want to plan activitites for the weekend way before. I just refuse to come back on weekends. Its something which i really dread. Wats the point of coming back when i don't get any incentive? We are like slaves to the red and white foreign purchase. I get the list at 4 pm and have to fix before i leave. Whats the point. Its supposed to be 6 pm everyday and 530 on friday. Have i ever left on the dot? The ans is no. I stayed till 7 and i still get the god damm f*** up look from that asshole.

Let's just say yah, in the new industry i might not be able to leave on the dot as well. But well, at least i MIGHT be happier learning new things which i want to learn (which i cant define what i want to learn). IT. i dun think is really the one. Instead of wasting time here, maybe i should just throw the letter, do some finiancial courses and maybe barclays, bloomberg? Sounds tough though. But i always wanted to be in that power suit in the business world. Should i give it a try? And sorry guys, for some reason, i kind of hate ur species these days other then my little boy. Cos he's just a little boy. Pardon him yah. But i really hope one day i will head a dept with all the guys under me. And ... u ppl will know the outcome yah =)