Tough Decision

I had to make a very tough decision on thursday. It was one which made me think so much. I realised how sentimental i am. The phone call came late afternoon on thursday. I got the job at SingTel. I wasn't expecting to get the job at all, cos i didn't know how to do that test paper which was so similar to my uni year one java exam paper. Read a couple of questions and didn't really give a thought to the ans. I counted brackets, i analyze the codes for the first few. Soon i got bored and just picked ans to my liking. I admitted to the interviewer that i screwed the paper. He looked at me and smiled. "Its okie."

Thursday night was totally screwed up. I was feeling excited, happy, scared, sad..Feeling so mixed up. I couldn't sleep at all. So many things ran through my head. Cos i'm human, cos i have feelings..Though the money factor seems so tempting, but on personal terms, i didn't really feel like leaving my present company cos i will say, 3 ppl in my present company brought me and exposed me to where and who i am today. Especially my boss and 2 managers. I did my internship there, i did my part time there during the uni hols..I was offered the job before i grad. I was new, i was young. It was them who provided me with all the help and opportunites...i didn't want to be ungrateful.

I didn't felt like moving. But i got tired and bored of the atmosphere in office. The trigger came when my current project which i'm still currently in so called got busy. When everyone had to share somethings..When punctuality becomes a problem, when everyone had different idea on being punctual. I came early cos i wanna leave on time. But i had to wait sometimes and soon many a times for my team mate to arrive cos some shared things was not available for use. I had to wait and in the end, i had to stay back. Soon i got tired of this..I asked myself..should i come late? since everyone comes late. But i got the ans for myself. No i won't cos i want to leave early and why should i compromise with others. In a very short time, i got turned off with work. I showed little concern and attitude to my work. I came at my usual time, and irregardless of whether i finish my work, i leave on time. For some reason, i became not my usual self. I dreaded going to work. I became irresponsible. I believe once one dread going to work and have to pull and push and phsyco yourself to work, its time to find a new place and a new environment.

I didn't make much an attempt cos i was really too lazy to update my resume. When i finish updating, the post which i first saw (a month ago) was already closed. I applied to SingTel and BP (through my fren). I soon got called and went for the interview and i landed myself with a position. A position which they are willing to let me try out. Something less technical, something which i always wanted to try but i wasn't given the opportunity.

I thought about it the entire thursday night. Lots of things ran through my head. I asked myself if i should move on. It was really a battle. I do like the ppl in my present company. I will say they are smart and brilliant..But haihz. Truths are usually painful. So, i concluded that that though i'm grateful to the 3 ppl in my company for their patience towards me..My life is still my life..So the truth always hurt. I resigned from my job on friday. Seriously, i'm kind of feeling sad =(

But i think i have to grow up, look for something which really interst me. I dun want to do something or be in a environment cos of third parties and be unhappy. I believe there are other ways to thank them for their kindess and patience towards me and i hope they will understand my decisions.

Thank you little boy for being with me all this while..To encourage me through the tough times, to encourage me through my first and again final interview. To help me prepare and draft out my resume.